I had forgotten all about Kenzo's green stretch-leash. Yet there it was, hanging on a hook behind the kitchen's back door. I slowly reached out my hand as if it was a sacred object. I had forgotten all about it.
We usually park the leashes on our coat rack at the back door, but this particular leash found an odd place for itself. The last day I had it in my hand was almost half a year ago, when I returned home with only this empty leash in my hand. Why I put it behind the kitchen door I don't know, or can't recall. But I can make a guess. I was numb that day.
My heart raced while I took it down from the place where it had been for more then half a year. Me and Merete were packing down all our inventory in boxes for the upcoming house sale, but I hesitated and was indecisive about putting the leash down in a box.
Memories were re-lived while I let the leash run through my fingers. The leash warmed me, filling me with love that once was. Suddenly, my eyes caught the end of the leash, and noticed it still had some of Kenzo's fur on it. I stopped running the leash through my fingers. I could only stare at these golden curls. They were beautiful. They were real. It felt like we were together again. Kenzo and me, together in the same room. For just a second. A wonderful moment.
I wondered if I should smell it, or touch it, but I didn't. I only looked at it, thinking of a good place to keep it. Or maybe not. Maybe chance should place it somewhere, and in half a year from now, it could surprise me again.
Wow. I feel the loss with you. I have been missing my Angel. Wanting to email her new mommy. But I am afraid. I dreamed of her outside my window looking longingly at me. The next day I was surprised by a photo of her that popped up unexpectedly. I am afraid for a heartache that is coming and her age, and having endured cancer and surgery. I know the heartache is coming. I will miss her all of my days. I will cherish every moment, I was lucky enough to have experienced with her. She taught me more than any human ever can. She lives in my heart as Kenzo does.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how hard it must be for you not knowing. I am so sorry and hope you will continue to cherish the time you had together with Angel.
DeleteKeep it. It's a reminder of all the wonderful times you had and it will always bring Kenzo back to you.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Monty, Harlow and Ramble
I will. I haven't decided yet on giving it a special place.
Delete