I lay down with Kenzo in the snow, while children shout in excitement around us. The chilling air feels clean and fresh. The bright sunlight reflecting on the white landscape forces me to shut my eyes. And there she appears, being silly and romping around. The first snow was always our highlight of the year, and I squeeze my eyes even more to hold on to the image before it will fade, and I have to open my eyes again.
Life has returned to its regular routine almost three months after her passing. She visits me still, in waves. I don't know when she will come next. This time it just took a snowflake. Sometimes she comes during the day, and other times in a dream. I am thankful for each visit. Cherished as an unexpected opportunity to again feel that love that once was. Promise me, soon to visit again, Viva.
Is it possible that it's three months?! Time is so funny, marking loss. It seems like yesterday -- and also like an eon ago. Frankie comes back to me each week with your stories -- always with joy as well as sadness. Thank you for these beautiful pieces.
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome, Edie. I do always think about you, Frankie, and Roxanne and Lilly while writing about Viva. It is a mixed feeling I have, knowing I tear up fresh wounds expressed in joy and sadness with both of you, and I apologize in the same sentence.
DeleteSam comes to me too, sometimes so unexpectedly that it hurts all over again. I read something on FB the other day that when a dog dies, he goes to sleep in your heart. The pain you feel is when you think of him and he wakes up and starts to wag his tail out of happiness for being with you. As time goes on, the dog sleeps more and more.
ReplyDeleteMonty and Harlow
It is a nice thought, I remember you shared it.
DeleteThat's quite a lovely thought.
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